Cooking... Stones

I cooked a pork roast for my dad and daughter today. Nervous because I've never cooked one before. It was my favorite thing to have my mom cook and her's was the best in the world. Curly Top said it was really good and took a second serving, she doesn't even like pork roast. Dad took seconds too and said it was as good as Mom's. Even if it wasn't true, it was nice of him to say so unsolicited. Better yet it was good to see him eat a balanced meal finally. There is beauty in knowing that the simple act of eating means his healing has begun.

Small Stains....Stone

Today while sorting through her closets and drawers to donate her clothing, I discovered a small coffee stain on a nightgown. This brought to mind the memory of her sitting in bed, slopping coffee and cursing as she sopped it up with a paper towel, commenting that she was always doing that. I smiled at the memory, folded the stained gown, and put it in my suitcase.

Passing... Stones

The sorrow of her passing is tempered
By the peace on her pain free face.
By the knowledge she is in a better place
Excited by the reunion with her parents.
And the wonder of paradise.

It's hard to find beauty in the hospital room your mother is dying in,
Until I look to memorize the beauty of her face, aged and tired it may be,
And to hear the love in her voice when she says the last time
Before she loses the ability to speak,
"I love you too, honey. I'll be waiting for you."
The beauty of my Mother's love surpasses all beauty today.

Hospice...Stone

Hospice.
A word that conjures fear.
An answer 
Finally given,
Not the one you want to hear.

Hospice.
It's all done, the decisions made,
And everyone's
agreed
But I'm getting more afraid.

Hospice.
I want you to be out of pain
I'm feeling so
Conflicted,
I know I'll want you near again.

Hospice.
They'll watch you and they'll fuss,
You'll have
Your dignity
Until you finally leave us.

Hospice.
I miss you already, Mom. 
I will miss you always.
I love you.
♥
I will always love you.

Slipping... Stones

He listened...
And looked at me
With understanding.
He's felt this before
When his own dear mother,
Started slowly slipping away.